Sex is a part of the human experience. As pleasurable and enjoyable as it can be, sometimes you just can’t seem to get there. You may feel distracted during sex, and learning how to focus in those moments can lead to even deeper and more satisfying experiences.
Your brain is awesome. It can do so many things at once! Sometimes though, the multitasking ability of a thousand thoughts racing through your head can cause you to lose focus during sex.
The truth is, sex requires your full and undivided attention to make it the best it can be. So, let’s explore some reasons you may not be able to focus while doing the deed, and things you can do to stay more present and focused during sexual encounters.
Key takeaways
- It’s not uncommon to lose focus during sex.
- There are things you can do to help you stay focused during sex.
- CBD may help relax your body and mind, leading to better sexual experiences.
Why can’t I focus during sex?
Overthinking it
So many thoughts may be running through your head when you have sex, whether it’s the first time or you’re a seasoned lover. What if I won’t climax or I can’t get my partner to? Are they enjoying this? Am I doing it wrong?
When you overthink sex, it can make you lose focus and make it difficult to enjoy the present moment.
Outside stress and distractions
Sometimes, outside factors like stress and distractions can also make you lose focus during lovemaking. Stress about work, money, and responsibilities could be the cause.
Maybe phone notifications keep popping up and killing the moment. There might be outside noise, a curious pet, or anything else that keeps you from staying present.
Are you bored?
Sometimes, sex can be boring. Or perhaps, your own likes and needs aren’t being met. Sex can be boring - but it doesn’t have to be. Figuring out what you like and finding exciting things to experiment with can help fight off bedroom boredom.
Trauma and dissociation
Trauma can lead to dissociation, which can lead to a lack of focus and a sense of the present. There are so many different types of trauma, but sex-related dissociation might be an indicator of past sexual violence or assault and make you feel like you’re living outside of your body.
Living with these traumas can affect your day-to-day life, including sexual encounters. Finding help through crisis organizations or talking to a licensed professional may help you feel more comfortable in the bedroom.
Too focused on partner’s pleasure
While focusing on your partner’s pleasure is a good thing, there should be a balance between your satisfaction and theirs. If you’re doing everything for them and not focusing on things you want to do or like, you might end up feeling unfocused and bored.
It’s tough to find harmony between partners, but sex is best when you’re both having fun!
Performance issues
Overthinking things can also lead to performance anxiety, which is when you’re afraid of not living up to expectations or getting things wrong. You might wonder, “am I doing this right?”, “Are they enjoying this?”
Body image issues
Most people have a complex relationship with their bodies. Feeling self-conscious or unattractive can lead you to not give it your all or feel anxious about getting intimate. It’s important to remember that everyone has doubts and insecurities.
While you’re worrying about your own, they’re probably focused on theirs. Worries about our physical appearance and insecurity can be daunting, but working towards loving your imperfectly perfect body, and finding someone who appreciates you for you can help you enjoy better sex.
What is spectatoring?
The term “spectatoring” has been around since the 60s, but it’s still something many people deal with today. Spectatoring happens to many sexually active people, and it involves getting stuck in your own head and losing focus rather than focusing on connection and simply enjoying the moment.
You might get distracted by your own inner monologue, which tends to be critical and doesn’t allow you to relax and focus on the feelings and sensations of sex.
How to stay focused during sex
Set yourself to relax mode
The best sex is usually had when you feel relaxed and at ease. It’s important to incorporate relaxation techniques into your day-to-day life so that you can simply enjoy the connection of sex when it happens.
While a healthy mental and physical lifestyle can help you practice relaxation, you can also turn to products like FOCL Premium CBD Drops. This tincture is packed with 1000, 2000, or 3000mg of premium broad-spectrum hemp-derived CBD that can help the body and mind stay relaxed so you can focus on enjoying the experience.
Choose a non-distracting environment
Choosing the right environment for lovemaking is essential. It can be hard to get in the mood and stay focused if you don’t feel safe, comfortable, and at ease.
Whether at home or somewhere else, make sure it’s a place where you feel relaxed enough to let yourself go, turn your phone on Do Not Disturb, and be present.
Focus on breathwork
If you’ve heard it once, you’ve heard it a million times: don’t forget to breathe. One of the best ways to snap your mind back into focus is to take a few minutes to slowly breathe in and out, focusing on taking deep breaths and letting your brain get well-deserved oxygen, which will ultimately relax you and help you stay present.
Eye contact
Sex is about pleasure, but it’s also about connection. When you feel disconnected from your partner, it can be difficult to find that sweet spot that’ll have you feeling waves of pleasure.
Eye contact can help you focus on connecting with your partner and fostering intimacy, as well as regulating the nervous system and letting yourself live in the moment.
Practice mindfulness and be present
Mindfulness is sort of like meditation, except you can do it at any time and any place (including the bedroom). Mindfulness is about focusing your attention on the feelings, sensations, sounds, and smells around you, slowing down the nervous system and allowing you to fully enjoy the present.
Breathing and casting out unwanted thoughts can help you practice mindfulness in intimate moments.
Focus on sensation and pleasure
While easier said than done, focusing on pleasure can keep you anchored in the present moment. Really tuning in to the sensations in every part of your body, whether or not they’re specific erotic zones, will keep your mind from wandering off to worries and unwanted thoughts.
Remember: sex isn’t just about stimulation. Making sure you’re actively making your partner feel good, even if it’s not in a specific sexual way, can make sexual experiences feel more pleasurable and deep. A massage is a great way to stimulate pleasurable body sensations.
Respond to both pleasure and discomfort
Everyone wants to feel pleasure - but sex can be uncomfortable sometimes, too. And that’s okay. In fact, discomfort can help you find out what your boundaries are and what you’re into.
Uncomfortable positions can show you what not to do and help you figure out what you do like. Communicate your discomfort with your partner. Tell them what you like and don't like.
Practice makes perfect!
That’s right: practice makes perfect. You can’t expect it to be amazing from the get-go, especially if you’re just starting with a partner you want to keep seeing. Finding out what they like, and what you enjoy. Exploring together and communicating can help you perfect your sex life.
Lean into things that you both enjoy, and learn how to target certain areas or experiences that bring you pleasure. The more you practice and communicate, the better the sex will get. Don’t get discouraged if you haven’t found your rhythm: practice really does make perfect.
Can CBD help with sex?
CBD may be able to help you in your sexual life. In fact, your reproductive organs and sexual tissues are packed with cannabinoid receptors, both in female and male organs. This can lead to increased blood flow, and higher sensitivity, and may even promote natural lubrication.
As for the mind, CBD may help you feel relaxed and at ease, which ultimately lets you stay focused during lovemaking sessions. Plus, your body may also feel more relaxed and receptive to touch.
Getting a good night’s sleep can also help you stay focused, and if you have a hard time falling and staying asleep, FOCL Night may be able to lend a hand. These capsules are packed with premium hemp-derived CBD and five beneficial botanicals that can help you get a night of deep, restorative sleep.
The botanicals and CBD will help you relax, repair the mind, reduce inflammation, and assist in serotonin and melatonin production.
Do CBD gummies help with sex?
CBD may help with sex, from relaxing your body and mind to helping you find peace and stay focused. While conclusive scientific studies are still needed, anecdotal reports from surveys have said that CBD helped ease stress, improve libido, enhance orgasms, and foster intimacy. In fact, 68% of people said their sex life improved after using CBD.
Why not give it a shot? Delicious ways to consume cannabidiol include FOCL Premium CBD Gummies, which come in an array of tasty and tropical flavors and deliver 25mg of CBD per chewy treat. Made to help you relax and move through each day with motivation and focus, these gummies might just give your sex life a boost.
